Tag Archives: book

It’s different for girls, Jo Brand

9 Aug

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Product Description from Amazon:

A wonderfully funny and poignant novel about growing up in the seventies, teenage angst, growing pains and first love.

Continue reading

Mum’s Kitchen

26 Oct

Cluttering pots and pans… the easily recognisable ‘Coronation Street’ theme tune… a loud ‘tinkling’ of the coffees being stirred… and of course you can’t ignore the washing machine whirring and banging away!

This is Mum’s kitchen, in all its glory; with its manic confusion and chaos… it’s your wild horse in need of taming. The kitchen, believe it or not, is the window to your entire world. A messed up crazy kitchen can highlight problems of massive proportions!

If there’s no calendar, no shopping list, dirty sideboards and equipment; what does this tell you?

If there are piles of laundry on the kitchen table and the drawers are packed full of junk; what would you think?

If the bin is overflowing and toys are strewn everywhere…. what does this tell you about the ‘mum’ in charge?

Well it tells me that she’s not on top of her game just yet; that she hasn’t got a strategy in her cleaning or laundry and frankly she just hasn’t completed the SUPERMUM mission.

            The kitchen is the epicentre of the home; instead of ‘The kitchen’ you could rename it ‘Activity Central’ if you really wanted to.

Whether it’s ‘Activity central’ or ‘the thorn in my side’ you can call it what you like, the fact is; we all need to take our own kitchens and divide them and conquer them … and then keep them that way!

This next section is dedicated to the wonderful room that we all know and love (sometimes hate as well; if it’s particularly messy!)

Multi-function madness

 

The kitchen has many uses and when not under control it can just become a space of unimaginable mayhem!

‘Multi-functional’ should be quoted as an advantage to a room… not a hindrance. When the phrase ‘multi-functional’ just symbolizes ‘messy’ this is when things need to get a huge reshuffle as things clearly aren’t working in the way that they should be.

In Mum’s Kitchen, we cook, clean, wash our clothes, do paperwork, eat our meals and it’s often also a ‘play’ space for the children. It is when all of these activities start to intertwine that an incredible ‘mess’ can be created.

This can be prevented, to some extent, by creating six main activity ‘zones’ in the room.

1. Cooking Zone

2. Cleaning zone

3. Laundry Zone

4. Paperwork Zone

5. Eating Zone

6. Play zone

Goodbye laziness (my oldest friend!)

26 Oct

It was a weekday, around mid-afternoon and I was still wearing my pyjamas. I had greasy, bed-head hair and, dare I say, un-brushed teeth!

 

Yuck! I was a disgusting, overweight, lazy, student-bum and I hadn’t done anything with my life since leaving university about a year earlier.

 

On the floor at my feet there was my empty coffee mug and a small side-plate with a few toast crumbs left on it; the remains of my very late breakfast.

 

As usual I had lazed in bed till about 11:30am and moved onto the couch with all intentions of staying there until bedtime.  I did plan on tidying the stuff on the floor away, but maybe in a few more hours (or even the next day if I was feeling particularly lazy!) 

 

I was doing my usual thing; vegetating on the sofa, watching repeat episodes of ‘The Jeremy Kyle Show,’ whilst eating pickled onion flavour Monster Munch and a Mars bar. 

This day was a little bit different; my crisps just didn’t taste as marvellous as they usually did, and the delicious chewy goodness of my Mars bar just couldn’t make me smile.

 

I wasn’t transfixed on the television, like I would have usually been, on a normal day, and I certainly wasn’t sitting there anticipating the outcome of one of Jeremy’s infamous ‘lie detector tests’. I really didn’t care about any of it.

 

My mind was way too occupied on this mid-week afternoon to care about such pettiness as I was busy watching my home pregnancy test, with its gut-wrenching little screen, slowly and very teasingly predicting my entire future.

I sat in fear as the moisture crept its way up the test’s paper and turned into a bright blue, ‘there’s-no-denying-it,’ ‘oh my lord I’m pregnant,’ cross. There we had it, “Oh my flaming word!” I choked. It was bloody positive.

 

There it was; the moment that my whole world as I knew it had just fallen crashing down around me!

 

Before I’d had time to even think about all the things I needed to do, the 9 months had just zoomed by like lightning and in what had felt like just the blink of an eye, I had become (long sigh) I had become… a mum!

 

She’s my gorgeous little ‘bundle of joy.’ However, sometimes I look into her beautiful fresh green eyes and wonder if she could really be a hell-demon trapped inside a little girl’s body. It’s just an inkling I have sometimes; because those ear-piercing screams and blood curdling, screeching tantrums, just can’t be normal human behavior: Surely not?

I think that I even saw her eyes glowing in the dark one time (unless I was dreaming?)

 

Short of an exorcism or two, the fact is that she’s mine and she’s here to stay.  No longer single and totally care free; I was now going to be responsible for someone other than myself.

 

It was time that some massive lifestyle changes had to happen in order to accommodate this new little ‘housemate’ with whom I would be spending the foreseeable.

 

It was definitely not going to be an overnight change and I quickly realised that it was going to be a far more difficult process than I had first imagined in changing my long established student-bum habits.

 

 I had gone so far down this path of uselessness that it was going to be a case of dragging the old ‘me’ kicking and screaming off the sofa and into a new way of living and thinking.

 

It was time to wave farewell to the old, Student-bum, me and completely start afresh. It was time to give my new little family the SUPERMUM that they would really appreciate.

 

 The mission: Becoming ‘Super-mum’ 

I knew what I wanted to achieve but I was unsure of how exactly I was going to go about making these massive personal changes. I had set myself a mission and I was unsure of where to begin.

 

Remembering that, yes, I had actually once been a student, I tried to think back to how I would have dealt with this problem had it been a piece of coursework.

 

I considered writing a list or, even doing… drum roll please… a brainstorm! Yes, that was it, I would do a brainstorm! So, bearing in mind that I was a complete and utter, self-confessed “student-waste-of-air,” this measly little breakthrough was actually a great start for me!

 

With my rather fuzzy logic I excitedly scurried upstairs and rustled through my crammed bedroom drawers. I struggled even with this small task as my drawers were so stuffed with old junk that they were either collapsing at the bottom or overflowing so that they took some serious force to prize them open.

 

I was looking for a pen and pad but in the end I’d had to make do with a felt-tip and old envelope for my procrastination.

 

Little did I know; this small exercise was to turn into a mammoth project. It became more than just a brainstorm; it was a life mission and a journey to maternal enlightenment. I had created a guidebook for the clueless.

 

This blog will contain my findings plus any advice and tips that I’ve picked up along the way.

 

Everything that I’m giving to you has been tried and tested by ‘yours truly’ and I would like to share these little gems with you so that you can also benefit as I have.

 

Grab yourself a pen and pad as this blog is jam packed with tasks for you to follow if you want to get the most from the Supermum mission!

 

Following my tasks will show you that making a number of very small changes in your life can have huge benefits for you and your family!

If a student-bum like me can learn by doing the SUPERMUM mission; then you can too!

The big (make that gyn-ormous spring/late summer clean

21 Aug

Well Im currently doing my kitchen and originally set 2 hours per room…

3 days later

and im still doing the kitchen!!!

This is mainly because the big cupboard we had was a junk cupboard for a tools and other crap!

So after moving a huge punch bag (that im sure was actually heavier than me), boxing gloves, several tool boxes, an old pc,
three high vis coats and several pairs of old trainers, three socket sets (how do you even need three of these?)
There was some random REALLY LONG and very tangled up caravan leads, a tea urn??? a fat fryer???!!! a hot plate, my christmas tree, and millions of other useless junk items…

I finally cleared my cupboard and it has now become my …

LAUNDRY ZONE yeeee haaaaa!

Reclaimed that cupboard

New laundry zone inside that cupboard

Shelves and stuff in the ALL NEW laundry zone

It could even be the worlds smallest utility room but dont quote me on that cause im not in the guiness world records or anything (and theres probably some amazing TEENY TINY ones in china or japan; dunno anyway but im defo a contender!)

Utility room or not, the basic idea is to have a ‘laundry zone;’ which is an area where you can sort out laundry and also where you’ll keep your sewing kit and any special stain removing products. This will be an area designated to all things laundry!

Task: Create a laundry zone

 Move all ‘laundry’ and sewing equipment to this zone. This includes special stain removers, the iron, the ironing board, and any washing baskets if you can fit them here.

Task: Make yourself a ‘laundry essentials’ kit for your new laundry zone.

 Here’s mine:

Laundry essentials cupboard - thats washing symbols and their meanings that i've stuck on the inside of the door because they're all so confusing

It should contain:

  • Colour run sheets
  • Tumble dryer sheets
  • Stain remover
  • Lint brush,
  • Shoe polish,
  • Sewing kit,
  • Hem repair,
  • Fabric scissors,
  • Pegs and peg bag if you have a line
  • Sewing kit
  • washing powders
  • Clothes repairs kit/Fancy bits box

Task: Make a ‘clothes repair jar’ /’fancy bits box’ for your laundry essentials kit

This is just a container of old ribbons, buttons and any other bits that may come in handy when you’re customizing clothes or making repairs.

Grab yourself an old container or tin of any kind.

It’s a good idea to cut off the useful bits from any clothes that you are throwing away and put them in this box so they can be re-used.

Collect together all odds and ends that you may have already lying around the house and also from any clothing that you’re throwing out after the big spring clean.

Clothes repairs Jar

The contents of my repairs jar - it's got buttons, sewing items, scissors, a tape measure, I even cut some gems off a cushion that I was throwing away. You really can put anything in here

The official Supermum (…by a Lazy Student-Bum) book OUT NOW!

11 Aug

A self confessed ‘Lazy Student-Bum’ embarks on a life changing mission to become a..SUPERMUM

Can you complete the SUPERMUM mission too?

This book is packed with Do-It-Yourself mum tasks so that mums everywhere can make personal and practical changes in their day-to-day lives!

From organising your home (so that it becomes a SUPERHOME!!) to making sure you don’t get caught short when you’re out and about with the kids. This book has something for everyone!

Witty and fun to read; this book invites you complete a series of practical tasks, that together, can make MASSIVE improvements to your life!

“A must-have book for Mums everywhere!”

 

Get your copy now and complete the Supermum mission!

And I think I’ve finished my book?

5 Aug

I know its been a while since Ive been here but I’ve been busy writing my book…I guess I thought it was time that I stopped messing around blogging and get my head down to some actual work for once.

So far I’ve got 184 pages and 29500 words… comparing myself to a similar writer (with a similar subject) I’m defo on a par. (and im blowing my own trumpet but im pretty sure, without bias of course, that my book is actually the better of the two!) Hope the author doesn’t know that Im talking about them.

I’m getting called ‘bookworm’ now at home and to be honest I don’t mind as long as nobody talks to me while I’m in author mode… thats MY time alright and i work pretty damn hard for it (as I keep reminding people) ;o)

Book aint gettin published till its goddam PERFECT

5 Aug

Working through the tasks and man they are a bit gruelling maybe I was a sadist in a previous life eh? Task one’s spring clean, I’ve already done once and two weeks later I’m back to square one?!!! How the hell has that happened?

Its worked a little bit already….because I HAVE kept up a ‘weekly’ day for the guinea pigs to get cleaned out so Im maybe paraniod but I think they were a little disgruntled yesterday when I ran out of hay (and it was pissing down too) so I put it off till this morning. However I felt so guilty about messing up the rota that I did it this morning straight after the kids had their breakfast… abi decided to come outside too but was just jumping in muddy puddles with only her socks on…. crazy girl.

so I’m gonna be doing the supermum mission

5 Aug

Gonna work through the mission bit by bit and see how fantastic it really is….. you see ive always had this thing where my theory is normally way better than the actual reality…better said than done and all that…

so I just have to test everything and tweak the mission in a few areas so that the  good things are kept and i guess i’ll just be scrapping the bad ideas and save my publisher some ink…its a recession after all!

Basically …ONLY the useful things that DO work and make a difference will be published… ….but thats my book… it doesn’t apply to this blog so there will definitely be typos, swear words and general pointless bullshit on here … sorry.

Been at it for hours :-S

22 Jun

Today was day one of the big clean up and boy did it take some serious time just to get a little bit towards being done.

I tackled room by room as I planned; but kept getting side-tracked with the kids and have decided to go to bed as its getting really late.

Still have about the same amount to do tomorrow so hopefully I’ll still be in the mood for it. I’m having to fight my way through mountains of laundry which is really taking a long time (but is getting there!)

After everything’s clean, I will sort everything for me and the kids into outfits so that I can just grab and go. This will even include socks and underwear and should save me a hell of a lot of time because I HATE trying to find something to wear that goes well together (it can put me in a VERY bad mood before I even leave my bedroom!)

I think this is what they call writers block… help!

18 Jun

Hey guys,

I guess this happens to the best of us but im only in the beginning stages of writing my book and ive hit a complete standstill.

Maybe another brainstorm sesh is in order… Ive heard of writers block but this is so annoying I haven’t a single idea in my head at all. Its been a few days now!!!

In the first couple of days I had all these ideas rushing into my head but now I’ve run out of steam grrrr!

 

 

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